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It was the old days of the American west. A young man has left his home back east, to seek his fortune in the wide open spaces. He arrives in town, and sees the local saloon has a ‘HELP WANTED’ sign in the window.He goes into the bar, and speaks to the owner, who sizes him up, and offers him the job. He adds this: “One thing. If you ever hear, ‘Big John’s a-comin’’, just get out of here as fast as you can!”He works there for a few weeks, when one day, he’s cleaning the place, and there’s an incredible commotion outside. People are yelling, screaming “Big John’s a-comin! Big Jooooohn’s a-comin!”As he’s trying to leave the bar, though, he’s knocked over by a massively huge man, riding an even bigger mountain lion, using a twelve foot rattlesnake for a whip! The man rides the mountain lion up to the bar, tosses the rattlesnake into the corner, and bellows out “Gimme a barrel of pickle juice!”Our young hero goes into the store room and rolls out a barrel of pickle juice. The man rips the. And then it was over.Lars pulled me to the doorway of the chapel and there, flanked by my blonde posse, people stopped to offer me condolences as they left. He explained people needed a focus for their condolences. They treated me like I was his widow. Sometimes it was embarrassing to imagine what they must have thought but everyone was polite. Rhonda stopped and held my hand for a long moment while tears streamed down her cheeks. Eventually, she pointed at the picture she’d painted and just mouthed, “Thank you,” and then left.Another blonde in black stood before me. I was a little in awe. Cali Marx had come to Dag’s funeral.“You must be Deb Riley,” she said softly. I nodded. “I know I’m probably no older than you, but you remind me of my mother. That’s not fair but Dag was going to be my father before Mom died. I hope you don’t mind that I hope they’re together now.” Dag was going to marry Cali Marx’s mother? Damn!“Of course, Miss Marx. Uh ... If you’ll forgive me, Dag had an.
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